Ghost of Akuze
by FLECHER
Summary: Akuze is a memory that Ashira wants to forget but never can, she relives it every night and hides her pain from others. But what happened in Grunt's Rite of Passage where she was forced to face her worst possible fear? M rated for violence - oneshot


Once again thanks to Flamewielder for suggesting that I write this. Essentially a **_much _**more serious version of "Hell No" - only I show you the actual battle and how Ashira reacted to it.

I think its there enough that I can say there's implied Shepard/Samara. As usual.

Please enjoy!

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The first round had been easy enough, with a few exceptions of nearly loosing a limb to a few of the more cunning varren. Wind tore all around them, and Ashira was thankful that she had brought her recon hood with her; though Grunt and Samara had to suffer the weather. Not that either of them were visibly uncomfortable.

Tagging the keystone for the second round brought more dangerous foes, Klixen being dropped all around them by a Harvester. At first a low cursing was heard from Shepard's direction, but the Harvester merely dropped it's deadly passengers to wreck havoc on the team.

Staying in cover was suicide with beasts, they could spit fire at them as soon as they reached whatever cover they used.

Holstering the Revenant, Ashira brought her shotgun out and made sure it flashed green with shredder ammo. She had dived behind a piece of rubble, knowing the damn things would get close to her. The wet hissing and constant clicking of insectoid limbs came closer with each second until a shadow passed over the edge of her cover. Slamming her shotgun up, it jammed under the Klixen's head. With a pull of the trigger, gore sprayed into the air; acidic slime oozing out of what remained of the beasts skull and throat.

Another of the beasts tried to charge Grunt, but the youthful Krogan simply laughed, moving out of the way of its stream of fire. Grabbing the back of the Klixen's neck, he did the same as Shepard; a point blank shotgun blast to the head. Looking over to the other side of their battlefield, she managed to pick out Samara's ebony clad form; glowing with biotics as a Klixen was thrown aside and smashed into a large chunk of rubble. They were doing well at least; but she suspected the battle was going to get harder. This wasn't too challenging by Krogan standards.

As the Harvester continued to drop Klixen around them, Ashira and Grunt got into the habit of firing at the Harvester's head every time it landed, damaging the creature and showering the area under it with the green sludge that passed as its blood. Before long, the Harvester just stopped coming, and so did the Klixen. It was time for the next round.

Making her way through the rubble over to the keystone, Ashira looked over her shoulder, waiting for Grunt and Samara to reach her. Grunt was grinning broadly, the young Krogan shifting restlessly from foot to foot waiting for the next battle to begin. Samara looked just as calm as ever and ready for whatever came next. Nodding briefly to them, the commander reached out and tagged the keystone for the third time.

The old Krogan's voice called out over the speakers again, telling of the Genophage and the Krogan's fight against it. _A fight where the only goal is survival. _Something clicked in Ashira's mind and she turned to face her two companions.

"Can't help but feel that was a clue just then…" she muttered, her voice coming through their comms.

Then they felt it, a tremor in the ground that grew until everything felt as though it were shaking. It felt as if some great leviathan of a creature were moving through the earth beneath them. Grunt jumped about a little, excited and boldly declaring he was ready for this.

Ashira's eyes grew wide; she had felt this before. She knew what they were facing. Surely they couldn't possibly think this was fair? Or a good idea in the first place? She knew it was a Rite of Passage for _Krogan_ but-

_The ground rumbled all around them - at first they thought it was just an earthquake, but oh how wrong they were. Creatures of claws, teeth and tentacles burst from the ground, blocking out what little light the moon provided. Then they screamed, and the gunfire started-_

In the distance a glowing tendril burst through the earth, shooting up into the air and dwarfing them even at the distance it was. It waved about, as if testing the surface world; as if it were trying to pick out where its new prey was.

Ashira felt her blood freeze solid in her veins, her legs stiffened and rooted her to the spot; her heart stilled in pure terror, afraid to beat just one more time. The blood drained form her face, rushing to her legs in the natural reaction to fear, her fight or flight response for once in so many years of intense battles choosing _flight_. She turned and ran faster than either Samara or Grunt had ever seen her move, just as a huge, full grown Thresher Maw erupted from the earth where the glowing tendril had been whipping about. It roared, mouth opening up into a dark, gaping cavern of ichor and teeth. The two quickly found cover among the rubble, a stream of acidic slime shooting overhead, bubbling and hissing once it hit something; slowly eating into the stone and metal.

Grunt was too busy yelling in delight at an 'enemy worth fighting', laughing above the wind and firing when the moments allowed. Samara looked in the direction Ashira had disappeared - she had noticed how the Commander straightened and tensed so suddenly. No one ran that fast without borderline terror helping them. Was she actually afraid or had she just faced a Thresher Maw before and knew how suicidal it was to fight them on foot? She had never shown fear before; why now? Then she remembered it, Ashira's way of explaining that she knew of loss to both her, and Nef's mother. She was the sole survivor of the massacre on Akuze; _by Thesher Maws._ Watching those you knew, and some you loved, held close to your heart, being killed in the worst ways possible…

Ashira rocked back against her cover, curled up and clutching her gun tightly. She was shaking all over, her heartbeat thundering in her ears as the monster's roar echoed over the battlefield. She flinched at the horrible noise, curling up tighter and bowing her head down. This wasn't happening. She wasn't here. That _thing_ wasn't here. This was all just a hideous nightmare, playing off her memories and fears that everyone around her would get ripped apart again.

"_What the hell are they!?" one soldier screamed in panic, firing at the nearest Thresher Maw; bloody ichor leaked out what pitifully few wounds he inflicted. Ashira grabbed his arm, wrenching him out of the way as one of the beast's scythes swiped at them. But its reach granted it one life, tearing into the soldier's abdomen and gutting him; the rubbery mess of gore splattered onto the ground. Ashira fell back, the air briefly knocked from her lungs. Opening her eyes, she saw her dying comrade's face staring back at her. Eyes and mouth wide in pain and shock, blood gushing up from his throat. He gave a gargling whimper, a single tear escaping his eye as he tried to speak-_

Louis Hughes, twenty-three-years-old just as she had been. Planning to marry his high school sweetheart; only for his life to end there, among gunfire and monstrous chaos. Ashira's mouth curled in a mix of fear and pain; no. She _would _wake up; this wasn't happening.

"_Shepard!"_

_She rolled onto her front, scrambling to her feet and grabbing her rifle. The ground rumbled directly beneath her and she sprinted as fast as she could away from it, hearing a new Thresher Maw burst out of the earth behind her to lay waste to more of her unit. Their screaming cut the night air, gunfire and roars trying to deafen her. Blood and gore lay everywhere. Body parts and what little was left of innards strewn in a haphazard graveyard of morbid design._

_The smell of it wouldn't leave her alone, and she stumbled, throwing herself behind a nearby rock formation as bile rose up in her throat. __**Nicole…where are you?**__ the sudden thought made her eyes open sharply again. _

_More of her unit were torn to shreds, and there was nothing she could do to save them. Part of her realised the only way she was going to live was to hide and hope that the beasts got their fill from the rest of the soldiers. Then she felt sick again; she had to find her!_

"Shepard!"

Ashira flinched, her eyes opening behind the sightless, glowing discs of her recon hood. Looking to her side, she was met by a pair of ice blue eyes, a look of wariness to them. _Samara…_ Ashira was still trembling, her mind flickering angrily between reality and the nightmare that never failed to visit her every time she slept.

Someone she held close to her heart…

"_Nicole!" she spotted her among the shifting chaos of moving bodies and gunshot flashes. The young woman turned in hearing her voice, locking eyes with the young Shepard and quickly running towards her for safety. Toombs had stuck by her, and noticing this, he tried to cover her escape, firing at the nearest Thresher Maw to keep its attention on himself. It gave a hideous undulating hiss, its mouth splaying open to show its endless gullet._

"_Toombs!" Ashira's eyes widened in fear, knowing he was sacrificing himself for Nicole's sake. The beast roared and lunged down at the human soldier, his own scream echoing into the night as he resolutely continued to fire at the creature. The sickening crunch and shatter of the Thresher Maw slamming into the ground, before ultimately dragging itself and its newly caught prey beneath the earth, caused another swell of bile in Ashira's throat._

A hand on her shoulder, the same calm - but now urgent - voice calling her name. _Samara; this can't happen again. _Ashira's grip tightened on her gun, bowing her head again as every muscle in her body tensed.

"_Ashira!"_

_She stood up from her chosen cover, Nicole was in the clear, most of the battle was behind her; the beasts were occupied by the rest of the unit. Despite how ashamed she would feel about it later, Ashira had suddenly felt happiness and relief; Nicole was safe, that's all she wanted._

_Naiveté. Nothing more than sweet, foolish naiveté._

_The earth rumbled again, so much closer than those of the main feeding frenzy. Recognition and fear showed up on Nicole's face and the ground cracked and burst open behind her. The massive form of a monster cast her in shadow, its scythes and tendrils splaying wide as it gave a hungry, grating roar._

_Ashira vaulted from her cover, screaming a soundless plea for Nicole to be spared as she charged to- to do what? Save her; how? Everyone had been slaughtered, no one had gotten away. What would make this any different - what made Nicole so deserving of this mercy? Tears of desperation poured down her face; this wasn't happening. This wasn't how things were supposed to happen!_

_She reached out for her, screaming her name, but it was far too late._

_The Thresher Maw bellowed again and whipped forwards, one scythe smashing into the ground at Nicole's side, and the other curving forwards in a vicious arc._

"_**Nicole!" **_

_The bulk of the scythe ripped through her body so easily, tearing her apart just as it had everyone else. There was no chance of saving her; there was no miracle at the last second. With Nicoles body in pieces the Thresher Maw gave a delighted, crooning call and dove down, feasting on what remained._

The wordless scream that escaped her caused Samara to back off swiftly, taking her hand back. It was a cry born of pure anguish; nothing more.

Ashira knew well how to hide her pain from others, her emotions were always safely locked away; all the crew could say about her personally was that she was difficult to read. However Garrus, Tali and several others could easily tell - and reassure - that she felt responsible for all of their lives. She kept her distance, and most took her as closed off and cold at face value, leaving it at that.

Now here she was, _trembling_ with fear and no doubt reliving whatever horrors took place on Akuze; the very reason she kept herself so apart from others. Afraid of growing closer, getting attached; only to ultimately lose those she held dear. Garrus and Tali had known her before death, even the old Krogan - Wrex - could draw a half-smile from her. But around _her_; Ashira actually smiled.

Ashira reached up suddenly, dropping her gun and undoing the clasps to her recon hood. Wrenching it off, she attached it to her belt and picked up her gun again. Her hair whipped slightly from the wind, somewhat obscuring her face, but Samara could clearly see her mouth; teeth bared and lips curled in a silent snarl. _This won't happen again. _She rocked slightly, her grip tightening on the revenant she wielded. _This can't happen again. _Her eyes were shut tight, the brief image of Nicole's smile being suddenly replaced by a familiar pair of pale eyes and dark, smiling lips. Azure skin offset by black and gold armour, strong, powerful and defiant to all life would dare throw at her.

Ashira's grey eyes snapped open, her tears had stopped; a look of fury crossed her face. _I won't let this happen again!_

She vaulted up, jumping over her cover faster than Samara could call her name. "Grunt! Aim just above its mouth!" she ordered, moving steadily closer to the beast. This wasn't going to end like last time, she wouldn't let it go that far. The young Krogan nodded at the order, accepting the sudden direction to his fury as his Krantt finally joined him.

Running ahead, Ashira fired in the same place she had ordered Grunt to, the revenant's shredder ammo tearing into the Thresher Maw's armoured head and - more importantly - its numerous eyes. It roared angrily, whipping about from the sudden onslaught and destroying the already broken rubble in its immediate vicinity. Its mouth splayed open and it lurched forwards, a stream of green slime spewing from the dark cave of its throat. Ashira instantly rolled out of the way, her back hitting a broken wall. She stayed still for a few precious seconds, before jumping to her feet and charging forwards again.

"Shepard! What are you doing?" that elegant voice now sounded vaguely worried as it came through her comm. Samara could no doubt see that Ashira was aiming to get as close as possible the beast they faced; utterly suicidal. The Commander wasn't sure what she was doing, she could hardly feel anything, it felt like adrenaline had replaced her blood. Holstering her revenant, she took out both her heavy pistol and the rocket launcher from her back. Leaping over another broken wall, she skidded onto her knees and slammed against a fallen pillar, allowing herself a few seconds to catch her breath. She just needed to get the beast's attention; then this would all be over. The ground was constantly shaking now that she was so close to it, the rest of its long body hidden beneath the earth.

Closing her eyes, Ashira's grip tightened on her chosen weapons; sound faded all around her until she could only hear her own heartbeat, pounding steady and strong.

The Thresher Maw roared out again; her eyes opened - then narrowed in a hard look. "Grunt! Keep firing!" she yelled, rushing up and firing several accurate shots from her closer position at the beasts underbelly, where its 'limbs' - for lack of a better word - connected to its body. They were a weak point on its long form, more vulnerable than its head. The rounds punched through the joins, thick inchor leaking out of the wounds and drawing the Thresher Maw's attention to the tiny creature near its base in the ground.

Her heart pounded harder and she discarded her pistol, bringing up the rocket launcher to aim at its head. Or at least, in the general direction of it. The beast roared once more and arched its body up, only for its mouth to splay open as it charged down to engulf the armoured soldier.

"Shepard!" both Grunt and Samara's calls barely reached through the comms to her.

The Thresher Maw's head slammed into the ground and the Commander disappeared. But a split second later, its head exploded - followed swiftly by a larger hole blowing out the back of its neck with another explosion. A mix of black and red gore rained down from the sky in the immediate area of the beast's lifeless body, steam rising into the air from the holes. Blood and acidic slime oozed out all over the place, coating the ground in another layer of nauseating sludge.

The Krogan and Asari hurried forwards, coming close enough that the multitude of smells made them both falter slightly. Grunt carried on faster, calling out the Commander's name. Samara frowned to herself, watching as Grunt started to become a little distressed. He quickly covered it up with anger.

"Come out Shepard! This isn't funny!"

She couldn't have just done that without a plan. Some kind of way to get herself to safety. Perhaps she hadn't; maybe that had been an out and out suicide strike. Samara's hands involuntarily clenched.

A muffled blast came out from the side of the Thresher Maw's ruined head, a gaping hole left behind. Soon after, a dripping figure crawled out on hands and knees, covered head to toe in dark, reddish muck. They flung what could only be a shotgun ahead of them, it was hard to tell; that too was covered in the thick substance covering their body. Hurrying over, Samara reached the 'unknown' figure, just as they got free of the beast's head and flopped over onto their back.

Kneeling down, and trying to ignore the smell, Samara frowned lightly at the figure. "Shepard?"

The human gave what sounded suspiciously like a laugh, short as it was. Then she spoke, her voice clear and distinct; with the faintest tone of humor. "I don't recommend that…"

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Hope that was alright! And yes, I stole how Grunt killed the Thresher Maw from his character trailer, but come on that was awesome so I had to use it. Besides, what else could she have done with the same suicidal and suspenseful tension?

Thank you for reading! Reviews will be much appreciated!


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